I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
