So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
