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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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