All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize