Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
