I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
