Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
