She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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