My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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