I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
