D3 body, D1 cock
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
