You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
