dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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