idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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