I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
