what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
