Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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