he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize