He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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