I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
