3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
