tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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