I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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