It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
