She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he puts the penis in happiness.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
