i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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