she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
