i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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