Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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