I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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