What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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