We won't sleep together?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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