home. puking in laundry basket.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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