Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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