i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
