the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
