he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
