apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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