i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
