sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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