Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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