my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
