yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
