He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
