Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
