then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Randomize
