All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We are all done wearing pants today
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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