people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
