Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I wear drunk well.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
