3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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