I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
