I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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