Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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