I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
