I hate all girls vehemently.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
