a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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