just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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