I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize