i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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