Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
