I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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