i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
