Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize