4 words: hood of his car
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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