...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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