it wasn't lemon gatorade
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just found puke in my bra..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
