This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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