So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
