it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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