her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
